Menachem Bluming
A Maryland rabbi, Menachem Mendel Bluming engages as Chabad of Potomac’s executive director and leads an inclusive Jewish community that is focused on education. Among the resources that Menachem Bluming’s organization offers online are parenting tips that come from Chabad members.
One article brought focus to the substantial impact that small changes in parents’ attitude can have on whether children heed what they say. A first step is to get beyond the natural instinct as a parent to instruct and answer reflexively on issues that require close listening and thoughtful responses.
For example, when a child says, “I’ve got too much homework!,” the fallback response is simply to urge him or her to get started, as the sooner work is started, the sooner it will be finished. This type of advice can initiate a conversation that seems more like a struggle of wills than anything.
A perhaps better approach is to pose advice as a question and allow the child to work through the options at hand to determine the best way of proceeding. Staying respectful and reflective throughout the process of problem solving allows a collaborative decision to be reached that the child is more likely to find motivating and heed. In many cases, the “ask, not tell” approach recommended of children in the Torah when addressing their parents also applies to how the parents can most effectively interact with their children.
Menachem Mendel Bluming 
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